Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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