i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
