overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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