What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
