i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
