I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
