So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
