don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
