My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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