Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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