all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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