u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
