Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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