You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize