If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
BRING THE BAGELS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
