Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
did i walk over a car last night?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
this is an emotional support booty call
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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