so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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