This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
