Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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