why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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