Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
