Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
