At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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