I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
