but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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