I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
