if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
