you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
