During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
