the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You dont lie about slip and slides
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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