I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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