): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just puked most of my soul out..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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