Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
