I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
pop tarts are not kleenex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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