There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
