this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
