thus making me awesome and them whores
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
