wrigley field is MILF paradise
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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