really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
