My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize