break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
