ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He better not be in your backpack
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Randomize
