i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
