69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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