I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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