oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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