Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
