His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And then my night got REAL pukey
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
