Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
