let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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