you're like a bully in the Christmas story
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
