how can u be prego again
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
