yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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