anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
