omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
