I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
