you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
