i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
