This is not my ceiling
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
