ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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