I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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