i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
