Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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