we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
