My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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