fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize