I feel like abortions should bother me more
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
