I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
