so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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