I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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