at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
