Farmville is her only friend.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize